What you are about to read was once a highly-classified information and is to be kept secret. It is so classified that not even all the Chiongeees knew this was the work of their fellow comrades. The information that is provided here is the general information. This is to give respect as the drama bomb involves a comrade. You do not need the detailed information as it will be a TL;DR article. The important thing is that, you know this took place and you know, as part of the Chiongeees, we got your back. This article also showcase on how evil your friends can be and how loving they are to you. And yes, IT WAS US.



Operation: Cannot Possibly Fail is the first ever and highly-classified Chiongeees operation that took place in the public grounds of Facebook. This operation was headed by Gen. Jason McFatty with a very special unit that has proved its fealty on Chiongeees. Because the choice of map is in Facebook, the valiant troops based its camp in Facebook as well, hidden in the valleys of Groups.

The operation is in retaliation for the epic destruction of Dash (also known as OTHER GIRLFRIEND) by the evil hands of the lulzkiller, Joeson Alvarado.



In the early weeks of May 2011, a drama bomb was detonated in the heart of the Chiongeees by Joeson and was aimed right to the heart of the hated beloved Dashy. It has been months since the drama of Joeson and Dash shook the peaceful lives of the Chiongeees but this time, it came to the point where everyone got sick and tired of the rollercoaster of a relationship that these douchebags had. With the drama stemming from Joeson's engagement to her REAL girlfriend, caught in the middle of the gunfire isChrisnette, who is a notable protector of Dash from all the lies Joeson was feeding her.

As Dashy's tears flowed like how a toilet flush does and Chrisnette not knowing what to do, she called for backup and contacted an expert in Life Ruining Tactics and the devil himself, Gen. Jason McFatty. As Chrisnette gave him all the information and the mess that Dash made, Gen. Jason threw his cigarette to the ground, looked away in disgust and said, HINDI KAYA, BAKLA! "Joeson must be ruined!"


Binded by the allegiance of the brotherhood of evil faggots, Jason quickly alerted the troops and devised a Ruin Plan for Joeson. And on May 18, 2011 at 23:13, Jason created a camp by the form of a Facebook group called Operation: Cannot Possibly Fail. This is where all plans and d0x are to be placed for the special unit to be updated.

Special Action Force

  • Roui
  • Christnette
  • Wingielyn
  • Babi

The D0xing

As part of any operation, Jason then d0x the living shit out of Joeson that even included his fiance. As Jason gave his undivided attention, he was able to pull up these bulk of information:


By this time, all the needed information has been pulled and the camp is set up, it was time for the first wave of attack.

Powerword: Shitstorm Clouds

This was the first mode of action that was made by the Chiongeees against Joeson. The objective is to let Joeson know that there is a group that is bound to put him down like an old, limp horse that has been sent to the glue factory. The plan? It was simple, take a picture of Joeson and place penises all over it or as how the Chiongeees like to call it, BBQ. After marinated and cooked to tender, the succulent Joeson meat is then to be flooded in the walls of all Cumcast employees.

Here is the official blueprint and bulletin taken from the original sauce from the Facebook group:


No one is spared.

Enter Gwen Marie, Karen Paula, Alexa and Catherine

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Alexa's trap profile picture.

Gwen Marie, Karen Paula, Alexa and Catherine are the fake Facebook accounts that were used to deliver the first attack. These notable girls gracefully handed Joeson's own ass to himself in a form of BBQ. The accounts were able to add Cumcast employees, including the higher management (OMs, SOMs, Sky 1). The disguise was so good that even a member of Chiongeees, Eugene Daitol flirted with Alexa. These accounts are the bombs that were planted in people's accounts for them to show the BBQ of Joeson.


Eugene Daitol, trying to mate online.

A serious business monkey that goes by the name Catherine Lopez Allerite was able to detect and called FAKE on the 4 accounts. This was a troll and unfortunately, the Chiongeees were so focused that they did not even try to control the situation as Catherine is just shit that nobody cares about.

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White knighting.

The Shitstorm


After weeks of careful planning and set up, on June 12, 2011, the 4 fine ladies transformed to Ultra Troll and rocked Facebook with the BBQ'd pictures of Joeson. The BBQ picture was posted on their walls, spammed to friends' walls and even splintered to the USI-infected group, Extension Sa QC LOL. All forms of Facebook features were done. They spammed the pictures on their own walls to clog people's newsfeed with delicious Joeson BBQ and along with the pictures, everyone was tagged to the picture until Facebook says, HEY! TOO MUCH TAGGING LOL.

It was the day Joeson took the first of many punches to the balls. It was a day of the flying penises. It was a day of epic raid.

The Aftermath

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As the 4 mindless accounts crapflooded their walls, agents, TLs and OMs wondered wtf is going on and why Joeson's picture filled with penises and semen were spammed to oblivion in innocent Facebook. As our internet heroes rocked Facebook, one lulzy TL that is named Carol Abella who was fucked by an OM was so shocked at how the harassment and rape was done that he made a comment that made Jason luld so hard, he almost piss his pants. She is also the TL that contacted Joeson and reported to him what just happened.

Phase 2: The Internet Is Serious Business

After Powerword: Shitstorm Clouds, it was assumed that /c/ already gave a statement of declaration of war against Joeson. On June 27, weeks after the historical shitstorm, Gen. McFatty posted a new plan in the groups. This time, the IRL ruination of Joeson in a form of a letter to his fiance. In the letter, it will contain facts about Joeson and Dashy's relationship affair. The objective is to let the fiance call off the wedding and hopefully, provoke Joeson into suicide for Final Solution.


The letter, in all its unsent glory.

LOL Fail

What it could be a winning moment in the operation, Phase 2 was considered a fail as the time went by after the first attack, Dash decided to be a stubborn woman. In the middle of the preparations for Phase 2, intelligence reports that Dash was again with Joeson and managed to patch things up AGAIN with him, continuing the relationship affair that the Chiongeees are trying to end. With this shocking development, Gen. Jason McFatty tore the letter apart and decided to call off the operation.

Backraid: Operation Shrapnel


CaN I haz injection? -NO.

Sparked by Dashy's dumb and classic stupid decisions, Gen. McFatty decided to do a backraid on Dash. The plan was straightforward: DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING Dashy's online accounts. Jason took time to code an injection-like script to bypass her accounts and delete it from the user database. However, this did not took place as /c/ love Dashy so much that they were caught up with Troll's Remorse and decided to just let Dashy ruin her own life and not to take part of any of her drama ever again.

Again, binded by the allegiance, Jason did not push through with his plan.

The End?

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After everything said and done, Operation: Cannot Possibly Fail have become an unfinished business. Despite the fact that the full ruination of Joeson, this operation proved that not only child pr0n but internet mayhem can also make you cum with a force of one thousand suns. Noone knew what was the original plan and the main objective of the whole operation. Lulzologists and Dramacrats though think that the whole plan was to have Joeson killed by himself. For Joeson, he is now left alone and is temporarily off with Chiongeees radars. For Dashy, she is currently dating The Big Show Edword and is currently happy with what she have right now. This time, it is real and it is no longer an affair.

As for the brave warriors of the lulz that intiated the run, they are back in their own kitchens and fridge gaining as much weight as possible. Waiting on when to strike next, the camp is still in Facebook and can still be accessed, preserved by the bandwidth of time.

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